From the Counselling Room

Counselling Blog

January 2020

Counselling Children & Young People

The Motivation Wasp

Melanie, a 15 year-old client, shared one of the things holding her back was not being able to get out of bed on time. She was continually being late for school and not getting her household chores done. Understandably, this was causing disruption in school and at home. She was desperate to change this but felt she couldn’t achieve it, getting up seemed impossible to her.  

I asked Melanie if she had any dislikes, such as spiders, etc. She said she hated wasps. I wondered aloud what she would do if a wasp was in her bedroom - would she stay in bed? She said no, she would shoot out of bed instantly! I asked Melanie to imagine a wasp in her bedroom when she was next struggling to escape her bed, highlighting it will only work if she wanted it to. She seemed a little reluctant but said she might give it a try. 

Melanie attended the next session saying the technique had worked! And she had managed to be on time for school all week. She also used this motivational technique to give her the energy to get chores completed, which resulted in a happier home. 

To protect confidentiality, all material here has been provided with consent, or has been disguised, adapted or several examples merged. Real names are not used. 

Melanie could not get out of bed

February 2020

Counselling Children & Young People

Happy Clapping

After a few sessions, Georgia, a young person I was working with said she was not getting along with her Mum, Dad and older sister. With some exploration, it was clear that she had a functioning family and was cared for and loved. However, she perhaps didn’t see this and said she felt left out and alone. To me, she was clearly in a self-enforced ‘victim’ position when around them.  

During one session, I asked Georgia to clap her hands. Georgia laughed, a little embarrassed, as though she felt this was an odd thing to do. We then both clapped together, at first both a little self-consciously but after a while with more freedom. It was a special moment as we both clapped with abandon and joy. 

After this I asked Georgia to sit on one of her hands. When she was settled, I asked her to clap again. Looking amused, she said she couldn’t clap whilst sitting on her hand. 

I highlighted, that to me, this seemed to be what she was doing at home when she was with her family. She was not taking part nor making an effort with them, self-sabotaging without realising. It was natural if she continued like this, she’d feel left out. She needed to enable herself to join in and to reap the benefits this would give. 

This technique can be used in any situation to prompt a realisation that a client needs to put some effort in. I have used this with children in school, adults in social situations and even at work with colleagues. 

To protect confidentiality, all material here has been provided with consent, or has been disguised, adapted or several examples merged. Real names are not used. 

Hands on in the therapy room

January 2020

Counselling Children & Young People

The Motivation Wasp

Melanie, a 15 year-old client, shared one of the things holding her back was not being able to get out of bed on time. She was continually being late for school and not getting her household chores done. Understandably, this was causing disruption in school and at home. She was desperate to change this but felt she couldn’t achieve it, getting up seemed impossible to her.  

I asked Melanie if she had any dislikes, such as spiders, etc. She said she hated wasps. I wondered aloud what she would do if a wasp was in her bedroom - would she stay in bed? She said no, she would shoot out of bed instantly! I asked Melanie to imagine a wasp in her bedroom when she was next struggling to escape her bed, highlighting it will only work if she wanted it to. She seemed a little reluctant but said she might give it a try. 

Melanie attended the next session saying the technique had worked! And she had managed to be on time for school all week. She also used this motivational technique to give her the energy to get chores completed, which resulted in a happier home. 

To protect confidentiality, all material here has been provided with consent, or has been disguised, adapted or several examples merged. Real names are not used. 

Melanie could not get out of bed

January 2020

Counselling Children & Young People

The Motivation Wasp

Melanie, a 15 year-old client, shared one of the things holding her back was not being able to get out of bed on time. She was continually being late for school and not getting her household chores done. Understandably, this was causing disruption in school and at home. She was desperate to change this but felt she couldn’t achieve it, getting up seemed impossible to her.  

I asked Melanie if she had any dislikes, such as spiders, etc. She said she hated wasps. I wondered aloud what she would do if a wasp was in her bedroom - would she stay in bed? She said no, she would shoot out of bed instantly! I asked Melanie to imagine a wasp in her bedroom when she was next struggling to escape her bed, highlighting it will only work if she wanted it to. She seemed a little reluctant but said she might give it a try. 

Melanie attended the next session saying the technique had worked! And she had managed to be on time for school all week. She also used this motivational technique to give her the energy to get chores completed, which resulted in a happier home. 

To protect confidentiality, all material here has been provided with consent, or has been disguised, adapted or several examples merged. Real names are not used. 

Melanie could not get out of bed

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